I used to not believe in evil eye, considering them a folk fiction, stupid superstitions. But recently I began to understand that there is something in this ... Our people are wise, they have been accumulating knowledge about human psychology and relationships for centuries. Certainly, remove the evil eye to grandmothers I will not go, but adhere to certain rules in dealing with people and educate in myself inner strength not prevent.
In life, we are surrounded by different people - with some it is pleasant to communicate and spend time, with others want to meet less. Some inspire us, add positive emotions, others, on the contrary, seem to suck out all the juices. After communicating with such people, you feel physically exhausted, devastated, everything falls out of your hands, your head hurts. Previously they were called people with an evil eye, now - energy vampires. Moreover, there are among them, relatively speaking, active and passive "individuals". And if the latter suck strength out of you, not wanting it (they can be among friends), then the active ones attack deliberately, recharging with someone else's energy.
The worst thing is when, by the will of circumstances, a person is forced to communicate with the "vampire" constantly. The best sacrifice for them - an emotionally impressionable person who is easy to "bite" and hurt. Then they either continue to finish off the "bitten", or let him go for a while and take on another victim. At times, it is unbearable even to be near such a person. To protect yourself from "vampires" First of all, you need to cultivate endurance and invincibility in yourself.
How to protect yourself from an energy vampire
Never show a "vampire" that you have succumbed to his "bites". In no case you can't show your weakness get depressed. Otherwise, he will simply "eat" you. When dealing with a "vampire" try to stay away from him, put mentally between themselves and them an invisible wall. And also try ... to smile at this person (but do not remove the "wall" at the same time). Such a benevolent reaction will irritate the energy vampire, "disarming" him.
The main thing is not to become like a "vampire", do not answer him in the same coin. Relations with him need to be narrowed down to the narrowest limits. In addition, such people like to call for frank conversations, climb into someone else's soul and pretend that they are worried about you. They will smile in your face, and hold a stone in their bosoms. It is advisable not to share personal joy or achievements with them. At such moments, you open up, and "vampires" suck all the positive out of you. They themselves will never tell good news about themselves. Most of them, by their nature, are people with a difficult character who are always dissatisfied with everything.
"Vampire" will complain that “I didn’t rest this year in any way: there was no weather, the food was awful in the sanatorium”, “I didn’t buy anything on the market - I just spent money”, “only problems at home”. This is a well thought out tactic. Drawing everything in black, he drives you into "depression". And he also makes a protective barrier so that, by chance, he is not jinxed, envied. Just judges others by yourself. Although he himself often has, as the people say, an evil eye. Just look at an open person, and in a few minutes he will stumble, or suddenly his stomach or head will hurt. In more severe cases, a long black streak begins in life ... After that, you just want to tie a red thread around your wrist. Just in case.
". Very important topic, VERY! Because it's really difficult to communicate with some people - you'll talk for half an hour, and then you have to recover for half a day. They suck energy - and do it very effectively. Those 7 tricks that are described below really work. The main thing is to remember them, to observe them. And don't be offended ;)
The people who are the hardest to love need love the most. ~ Peaceful warrior (This is such a book. And a movie based on the book. Interesting)
Have you ever dealt with negative people? If yes, then you know that it can be terribly difficult.
I remember my former colleague, who was just like that. During our conversations, she endlessly complained about colleagues, work and life. At the same time, she was very cynical about people in general, constantly doubting their intentions. It was not a pleasure to talk to her. At all.
After our first conversation, I felt completely exhausted. Although we only talked for 20-30 minutes, I didn't have the mood or energy to do anything else. There was a feeling that someone had sucked the life out of me, and it took about three hours for this effect to wear off.
When we talked later, the same thing happened. She was so pessimistic that her negative energy seemed to transfer to me after the conversation, and even left an unpleasant aftertaste in my mouth. And you know, it bothered me a lot. I would gladly refuse to communicate with her, if I could.
Then one day I decided that I needed to develop a plan of action - how to deal with negative people. After all, she is not the only such person I will meet in my life. I thought, “For every negative person I meet now, there are thousands of people I might meet one day. If I can handle it, I can handle all the others."
With that in mind, I brainstormed the best way to deal with negative people.
In the end, I came up with a few key tricks to do it effectively. They can be very helpful in building good relationships with such people. And although I now deal with positive people more often, these steps come to the rescue when I sometimes meet negative people.
If there is such a negative person in your life right now, you do not have to suffer from him. You are not alone in your problem - I have encountered negative people quite often and have learned to deal with them. Let them try to put you down - you can choose how to react and what to do.
So, 7 tricks to help you deal with negative people.
Technique 1. Don't let yourself be drawn into negativity.
One thing I've noticed is that negative people tend to focus on the bad things and ignore the good ones. They exaggerate the problems they face, and therefore their situation seems much worse than it really is.
The first time you interact with a negative person, listen carefully and offer help if needed. Give support - let him (she) know that he is not alone. However, make a note somewhere. If a person continues to complain about the same problem even after several discussions, this is a sign that you need to let go.
First, try changing the subject. If he/she gets into a negative tailspin, let him/her continue, but don't get caught up in the negative. Give simple answers like "Yes, I see" or "Yeah". When he/she reacts positively, respond in the affirmative and with enthusiasm. If you do this often enough, he/she will soon realize what is going on and become more positive in communication.
Trick #2: Use Groups
Dealing with a negative person can be very tiring. When I talked with my negative colleague, I was completely exhausted for several hours, although the conversation itself lasted only 20-30 minutes. This happened because I took on all her negativity.
To solve this problem, have someone else beside you when you are talking to a negative person. In fact, the more people, the better. Then the negative energy will be shared between you and other people, and you will not have to bear its weight alone.
The added bonus of having someone else around is that other people help bring out different sides of your personality. When others are around, they can help bring out the other, positive side of a negative person. I have experienced this before and it has helped me to see a "negative" person in a more positive light.
Tactic #3: Objectify Comments
Negative people can be quite critical at times. They periodically make comments that can hurt a lot, especially when directed at you.
For example, I had a friend who was very tactless. She liked to make various disparaging and critical comments. At first, I was worried about her words, wondering why she was so critical every time she spoke. I also thought maybe something was wrong with me - maybe I'm not good enough. However, when I watched how she communicates with our mutual friends, I realized that she behaves the same way with them. Her comments weren't personal attacks - they were her usual behavior.
Realize that a negative person usually does not want to hurt you - he or she is simply trapped in their own negativity. Learn to deal with negative comments. Object them. Instead of taking his/her words personally, take them as another point of view. Weed out the husks and see if you can benefit or learn from what is being said.
Trick #4: Switch to more enjoyable topics
Some negative people get turned on by certain topics. For example, one friend turns into a "victim of circumstances" whenever it comes to work. No matter what I say, he'll keep complaining about a job that's just awful and he won't be able to stop.
If a person is deeply rooted in his negativity, in his problems, the solution may be to change the subject. Start new topic to set the mood. Simple things—movies, daytime events, mutual friends, hobbies, happy news—can make a conversation much easier. Support it in areas in relation to which the person feels positive emotions.
Tactic #5: Choose Who You Spend Your Time With Carefully
As Jim Rohn put it, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” This quote means that who you spend time with has a huge impact on the kind of person you become.
I think this is very true. Think about the time you spend with negative people - do you feel good or bad after that? The same goes for positive people. How do you feel after spending time with them?
Whenever I spend time with negative people, I feel heaviness afterwards, a bad aftertaste. When I meet positive people, I feel a surge of optimism and energy. This effect remains even after communication. As you spend more time with negative people, you gradually become negative too. It may be temporary at first, but over time the effect will start to take root in you.
If you feel that certain people in your life are negative, be aware of how much time you spend with them. I advise limiting the duration - it can help. For example, if they want to hang out with you but you don't like their company, learn to say no. If it's a meeting or a phone call, set a limit on how long it will last. Stick to the topic of discussion, and don't let it go beyond a certain amount of time.
Tactic #6: Identify Areas Where You Can Make Positive Changes
Negative people are negative because they lack love, positivity, and warmth. Often they act in such a way as to create a barrier that will protect them from the world.
One of better ways help them bring positivity into their lives. Think about what is bothering the person right now and think about how you can help him (her). It shouldn't be too hard, and you definitely shouldn't do it if you don't want to. The key is to be sincere in wanting to help, and show him/her a different perspective on life.
Some time ago, I had a friend who didn't like her job. She did not like the environment and corporate culture. There was a vacancy at my (already former) workplace, so I offered her this opportunity. She eventually got the job, has been doing it for 3 years now, and doing it perfectly.
Today she leads a much happier, more active and optimistic life. She is definitely more positive than a few years ago. While I wouldn't bet that she'll be completely satisfied with her career just yet, I feel satisfied that I've helped a bit with right time. Also, there is always something you can do to help another – look around and help in any way you can. A small action on your part can lead to big changes in your relationship.
Technique #7: Stop talking to them.
If all else fails, limit contact with these people or even completely remove them from your life.
Instead of spending your time with negative people, focus on positive people instead. In the past, I spent a lot of time with negative people trying to help them. It took a lot of energy from me and was often completely useless. I have revised my methods. Now I prefer to work with positive friends and business partners. It turned out to be both more pleasant and more useful.
Remember that you are building your life and it is up to you to decide how you want it to be. If negative people make you feel bad, work on it using the 7 steps outlined. By doing the right thing, you can noticeably change your relationship.
Kristina Kondratieva is a certified art historian and a successful gallery owner. She promotes new species contemporary art: icons of Kuznetsov's writing and paintings in the style of vision, as well as the support of Russian designers.
The meeting with the icons of Yuri Kuznetsov in 2004 finally determined the path of Christina Kondratieva. She spent the time that had passed since then studying the work of the icon painter, which resulted in the creation of the workshop “Icon of the 21st century. Kuznetsov letter”, as well as the publication of a book of the same name.
In one of the reports about the collection of Christina, the correspondent summed up his impressions with the words: “Christina is sure that before the miraculous letter of the author ( it's about Kuznetsov's icons- approx. ed.) even an unbeliever will seriously think about God. And so it happens! In his icons, people find reconciliation with themselves.
- Was your family religious?
No. Dad was a member of the CPSU, mom was not a member of the party, but adhered to atheistic views. But my grandmother was a believer. She was born in 1912 and always went to church. Her life ran parallel to that of the rest of my family.
Everyone treated my grandmother like a kind of museum exhibit. He goes to church - well, let him go. Since childhood, she had such ideas about the world, about faith, about Orthodoxy, as she had absorbed them in her family before the revolution, and she carried this through her whole life. Grandmother asked me to write notes for the repose and for health, because she was illiterate. And I, being a girl, did not really understand why, but I wrote out of respect for my grandmother - although we were taught that there is no God, and all these are relics of the past.
When I was 14-15 years old, an image of the Mother of God, in my opinion, of Kazan, hung near my bed. It was a big poster, and how it appeared and why, I find it difficult to say. At the age of 15, I consciously decided that I wanted to be baptized. Nobody encouraged me to do this, I remember that it was my own desire that arose from within. I told my mom about it and she didn't mind. We chose the temple, I chose my godmother from my friends, the most worthy, as I thought. And at the age of 15, they performed the sacrament of baptism over me. I expected a miracle to happen in my life now. But since it did not happen instantly, and, probably, it should not have happened, for some time I even lost interest in the Church.
Then I lived in Israel from the age of 19 to 21 - my friends and I were looking for a better life left for the Promised Land. One of my friends asked me to bless the cross or bring something from Jerusalem - so I went to all the holy places. And gradually, thanks to my stay there, an inner inspiration was born. Later, in Moscow, when I decided that I would be an art critic and entered Moscow State University, then, seeing the holy images in front of me, I finally realized that this world is very dear and close to me, and I want to become a part of it.
How did you meet Yuri Kuznetsov?
Penetration into the world of Christianity in my life took place through inner sensations, primarily through the feeling of love. When I was first shown the icon of Yuri Kuznetsov - and it was the image of the Mother of God “Tenderness”, beloved by Seraphim of Sarov, then, looking at her, I felt this all-encompassing maternal love, and the words from the Holy Scriptures and texts of the holy fathers that the Mother of God is mother of all Christians, became tangible to me. Before me was not just a picture, but the Most Pure Mother of God herself. I couldn't take my eyes off the icon, I wanted it to never end. And, of course, I wanted to get to know the person who created such a work.
Have there been any trials along the way?
Everything that happens in my life is based on the belief that the Lord hears everything, knows everything and will offer the best solution to the issue. When people ask me about the gallery, about how I was able to open it, I answer the same way as about everything else: according to your faith, yes it will be to you. Everything that needs to happen will happen. And the right people will appear, and problems will be solved. Any event requires a blessing, and this is a good habit for me.
What thoughts and feelings do you wake up with in the morning?
I must say that the morning for me is not the most vigorous time of the day. I can not boast that I get up full of strength. But due to the fact that there are Christian values in my life and my favorite thing, for me every new day is a meeting with a miracle. Waking up, I am waiting for this miracle with childish curiosity: what interesting things will the day have in store for me today? And I always look forward to the best. If something not very pleasant happens, I understand that this is necessary in order for that very miracle to happen. And this should be taken calmly, pray and wait for the resolution of the situation.
How do you feel about life changes? There is such an expression of the Chinese sages: "God forbid you live in an era of change."
Our life in principle is not static, it is constantly changing. The icons of Kuznetsov painting that I represent create such a picturesque space that is constantly changing, depending on the angle of view from which you look at it, so that there is a feeling of the living presence of the saint. Therefore, I treat any changes as a natural course of life. If there are no changes, this is where you need to think about. So something has stopped. But everything in life is rhythmic, and movement is the pulse of life. When we feel it, we live. As soon as there is no movement, life stops. Therefore, any change is for the better.
What do you think is the most positive change happened to you in life?
It is that I found my way and connected my life with Orthodoxy. After that, exactly those people came into my life whom I could not have met otherwise. We have a wonderful friendship, and now we can do a lot of things together, develop together.
Before I embarked on this path, I was quite a lonely person. One might think that Christian values require solitude or withdrawal from real life. Everything turned out the other way around for me: thanks to the fact that Christianity came into my life, everything else came along with it - people dear and close to me, interesting life. Everything that is in my life is due to this.
You are surrounded by beauty, and you yourself are a very beautiful woman. How can you explain what a woman's beauty is?
A beautiful woman is one whose eyes burn with love, kindness, compassion, warmth towards the one they look at. If there is love in the heart, it, like an inner fire, makes the outer side of life beautiful as well. The most important thing is the beauty of the soul.
Is it good to be with this person? So he is handsome. If after talking with a person you want to do something good, you are in a good mood, then you have received a portion of beauty.
For me, an example of ideal beauty in life is a flower. In the Bible, flowers are given a lot of space, because the flower is the personification of the full acceptance of God's will and maximum return. In favorable conditions, the flower grows, opens and gives us its beauty. We admire it, enjoy the aroma, and it inspires us to positive changes, good deeds and deeds. If we are like flowers, we are sure to do what we have to do and get as close to God as possible.
And what, in your opinion, is the purpose of a woman in the modern world?
A woman can give a lot. She is able to love, her love is compassionate, and if she finds the strength in herself to give this love, first of all, to her loved ones, then she will fulfill her destiny.
If we look at what the way of life of a woman was, say, a hundred years ago and what it is now, we will see two different images. But, nevertheless, both then and now, women's love and compassion are very important, the ability to understand, forgive, accept, take on someone else's pain - not a physical burden, but what lies on the soul of another person, to lighten his burden in the spiritual and spiritually.
Why is a woman wife the best support for her husband? She sees him in both strength and weakness. If she supports him in weakness, not letting him know that she felt his weakness, then he will feel strong and will be able to be a protector and support for the whole family.
The statement made in the title, many do not cause any doubts. Surely you have often felt completely empty after communicating with a person? And, most surprisingly, the conversation could well have been calm, non-conflict, but, nevertheless, there is a feeling that you have literally been squeezed out like a lemon - such a breakdown and devastation. All these sensations are just signs that you have talked with an energy vampire.
It's one thing if these are casual contacts, for example, in a store, with passers-by, in an institution - they can be avoided. And if energy vampires surround you at home, at work, are listed as friends and acquaintances? Then your life can turn into a nightmare in which you will constantly feel worse and worse, falling into depression and acquiring diseases. nervous system.
How to recognize people - energy vampires? To do this, you need to understand that the goal of such a person, often even unconscious to him, is to draw energy out of you, increase your own tone, gain strength at your expense. To do this, he needs to evoke a certain emotional reaction in you. The most different ways, moreover, not only rudeness, offensive statements, slander, intrigue.
The methods used to unbalance the interlocutor at any cost are so diverse that we often do not even know about it. For example, your eternally suffering and aching girlfriend, who regularly cries to you about a hard life and an unhappy fate, is a typical energy vampire, because she loads you with her problems, constantly demanding sympathy and support, and does not want to make at least a small effort to change the situation on her own. . A boring colleague with whom it is absolutely impossible to solve a single problem, a jealous admirer who constantly arranges scenes for you for no reason - these are also vampires.
If in the process of communication you begin to feel inexplicable anxiety and ever-increasing fatigue, headache and an unpleasant feeling of pressure, there is an energy vampire next to you, the attack of which you were subjected to. They say that indoor plants and even household appliances feel the presence of energy vampires, so they rarely have indoor flowers in the house and all kinds of appliances break down quite often.
If there are such people among your acquaintances, then think about how much you need to communicate with them. In the end, you yourself form the circle of your acquaintances and friends, so there is no need to communicate with a person who is unpleasant or uninteresting to you. And, even more so, listen to his complaints, problems, delve into his worries and troubles. It will be safer for you not to attract the attention of such people, especially not to enter into friendly relations with them and not react to their speeches.
But, if your relative, colleague or boss is the energy vampire, communication with which you cannot avoid, then try to control yourself, not get annoyed, do not allow yourself to splash out emotions, because this is what vampires are trying to achieve. On the contrary, you should be able to get away from the conflict, demonstrate indifference and disinterest with all your might, or turn the conversation into a joke. An unplanned and unexpected reaction, such as a smile or laughter, will dampen the energy vampire's interest and cause him to stop attacking you.
But you yourself should not provoke such an attitude towards you. Do not be frank with strangers, even if they are your old acquaintances, do not complain and do not talk about your troubles and problems, do not share secrets and worries. Otherwise, if you do not see the vampire and open up to him, your problems will only get worse.
Psychics advise when communicating with people who use your strength and energy to use a simple trick: you need to interlace the fingers of both hands and put your folded hands on the solar plexus, and bring your feet together (or just cross your arms and legs). Thus, you seem to form a closed circuit and protect your biofield from mental attack. And try to mentally erect a barrier for the vampire - it will be very difficult for him to break through it.
If, nevertheless, the communication that exhausts you has taken place, and you feel bad, drink warm tea, relax, try to forgive if you were offended. Listen to your favorite music or take a walk among the trees - they draw off negative energy and process it into positive.
The question often arises - where do energy vampires come from, how do they become them? Experts say that the roots of the problem are laid in childhood. Vampires are often children from dysfunctional families or who have grown up without love and attention. If a child does not feel love for himself, often hears reproaches addressed to him, he grows up capricious, and with the conviction that you need to take a lot from life and immediately, until no one takes it away.
Sometimes too spoiled children become energy vampires, who are used to the fact that the whole world revolves around them, and those around them fulfill their slightest desires. They get used to living at someone else's expense from childhood. So parents with children should pay attention to how they grow up, so that in the future both they and those who will be with your children live easier and more comfortable.
They exist when they talk about it!
Of course not vampires, but just people who are great at hold your attention and call you discomfort during communication or fatigue after that gives them pleasure and you don't.
Just let me know right now! There is no uncontrollability and sacrifice in this process. No one will do anything to you until you succumb, give the right to another to do this to you. If you suffer from "psychic vampires", then you need to learn how to defend yourself, take care of yourself.
Knowledge of the process gives an understanding of what to do and how to protect yourself.
1. Take the lead. Whoever holds attention controls the flow of energy in communication.
2. Ruthlessly, without guilt, interrupt unpleasant conversations. The more inconspicuous, the better. (Urgent to work, children, important calls, the milk has escaped.)
3. You can change the subject. Take the conversation in a different direction.
3. Drop the pen on the floor. Make an unexpected gesture, appropriate, but slightly brighter than expected. This breaks the holding of attention.
If you know this, but it doesn’t work out, contact a psychologist individually or in a group of confident communication.
Do energy vampires exist?
If we are internally ready that we were controlled and our magical thinking is highly developed, then vampires, the end of the world, and the fear of meteorites lie on the fertile ground of our perception.
... after talking with a certain person feel tired and exhausted?
This state is possible if your perception is set to suppress. Different people perceive the same person in different ways. The more charismatic and aggressive a person is, the more people this person can suppress. But - not all.
What if it happens every time you meet?
You can run away, changing your life paths or turn to a psychologist to grow a strong personality in yourself.
There are people with negative thoughts, negative feelings, and therefore there is negative, negative energy around them. They don't necessarily enjoy it. Meeting with "positive" people, they seem to draw positive energy from a person.
But this happens because it is natural for a person to empathize, to experience the same feelings that the so-called energy vampire experiences. If these are negative feelings, respectively, your "+" goes to "-" Or vice versa, a person does not share the opinions and ideas of the "energy vampire", does not empathize with him, but communication with him burdens him, after such communication, his head may even hurt.
In the first case, do not feel sorry for people. If they came to you to pour out the cup of their problems on you, instead of pity, help: with care, attention, a kind word, etc. While regretting all the time, you will teach a person to blame their problems on you, maybe this makes him feel better, but it’s harder for you.
In the second case, if you are communicating with a person whose opinion, worldview you do not share, but they want to convince you, or it depresses you - do not take it as pressure, do not try to convince you if you fail. Take it just as someone else's opinion, you have the right to remain with your own.
The litmus test that defines any person is his main emotional tone. The underlying emotion and the resulting behavior of the person is an indicative point in determining who you are dealing with. Not just the words that a person says, but his actions, which are dictated by emotion!
Hints for identifying high-tone and low-tone people:
Pay attention to the emotional color of the first appeal that came to you from a person. If you felt somehow uncomfortable from him, if they tried to somehow tease you or lead you into some kind of confusion, then know for sure - you are dealing with a low-tone person. Be alert!;
If you are asked completely unreasonable and too lengthy questions, the answer to which can only be given by a whole bunch of textbooks, then you have a low-tone person in front of you. Why is that? Yes, because a person in high tones always thinks clearly, quickly and accurately. His questions will be specific and easy to answer;
If it is not immediately clear what tone you are dealing with, then ask the person an unexpected, but fairly simple question. If he simply and easily answers you to it. then he is a tall man. If he starts looking for some tricks in this, or even answers your question with his own question, or pretends not to notice your question - know this is the reaction of a low-tone person;
Notice whether the person places more emphasis on the past, the future, or the present. If a person likes to suck on something that is already impossible to change, if he is more focused on the past, then this is also a clear sign of a low emotional tone.
Pay attention to whether the person is optimistic in his statements or whether he is negatively and pessimistic to a greater extent. Of course, a high-tone person will be an optimist and this will be read in everything, and a low-tone person will definitely look for flaws, assure you that everything is bad, and also lead communication to a dead end;
The most important indicator of tone is the responsibility of a person for his actions, as well as the ability to be reasonable even in difficult situations. But it shouldn't be sensible, taunting or trying to make puns on every occasion and for no reason. Real intelligence is felt immediately - it becomes easy and fun for you with a person;
- What you should pay attention to is how often a person likes to use generalizations. That is, how often a person compares himself with the majority and their actions. If this happens, then the person is low-tone. For example, such a person can constantly say: “And everyone thinks so-and-so,” “Today it is fashionable to do so-and-so,” “People usually do so-and-so,” and so on.
- The illusion of a good Samoretian who shows his white smile to everyone. Being kind to everyone is the most dangerous and insidious delusion. In fact, this is a direct path to emotional breakdowns.
Communication rules that will make your life happy and efficient:
RULE #1: If you have accurately identified a person's low tone, then NEVER tell him about it! This is a useless action, because a person in a low tone is not able to perceive reality adequately and intelligently. As soon as he perceives it, it means that he has risen in his emotional tone. Draw conclusions about the person yourself and take action;
RULE #2: When you figured out who you are dealing with, and it turned out to be a low-tone person, then my advice to you is to immediately lose him. Just cut off communication with him, or else, keep communication with him minimal.
RULE #3: Don't be provoked and don't get into discussions with low-tone people! It can be said for sure that all communication with low-tone people lies in the fact that they provoke you and then throw you down, at least to themselves in tone, and at most a couple of emotional tones lower.
Often, an energy vampire likes to talk a lot and does not even allow words to be inserted .. He is not interested in the person with whom he is talking, his problems or opinion are not interested, only his energy is important to him, which he, more often unconsciously, receives in such communication. It is important to immediately track how a person communicates with you and, most importantly, why. Often it's just chit-chat, the merging of negative emotions, which is why such people are so negative and like to complain about their lives, about the government, about the weather, about anything. This is the only way they can get rid of their negativity, forcing the interlocutor to worry, regret, or even worse, feel guilty. Try to tell him about your problems and ask him for sympathy (money, time, care) - he will immediately lose interest in you. Unconsciously, such people sometimes provoke a scandal, because, unlike other people, the scandal “charges” them and they come out of it full of energy, which cannot be said about the opponent. Therefore, before starting a dialogue with someone, or if you know in advance that this person is a vampire and you need to communicate with him on duty, immediately determine the purpose of your conversation and do not deviate from it so as not to get bogged down in the "teeth" of the energy vampire.
Have you ever felt tired and exhausted after talking to a certain person? What if it happens every time you meet? Does energy vampirism really exist? or... Yes, there is, but "energy vampire" is a mathematical name. No one sucks anything from anyone in the literal sense. Each person, in addition to consciousness, has a huge part of the psyche, which is called the unconscious. And when at least two people communicate, then communications are built not only at the level of consciousness, but also at the level of the unconscious. Some of the contents of the unconscious are our psitraumas, which we seem to have forgotten about, our repressed negative (for example, resentment, shame, anger, etc.) or positive feelings (for example, unrequited love) .
And when we meet a person with a similar content of the unconscious or opposite in polarity, then our "communication" begins regardless of our desire. And the person whose psychological defenses stronger, as if "piercing" the one who is "weaker". a person with adequate self-esteem, with a strong nervous system and psyche, no one can "vampire". Therefore, if it seems to you that you are being "vampirated", you are welcome to psychotherapy, this is an indicator that your psychological defenses are weak.
I think that the theme of "Vampire" is more of a theme of protecting personal boundaries. I agree with my colleagues, if you are pierced, you are manipulated, your desires and actions are used for their own purposes, learn to protect personal boundaries. This is solvable. My clients get the opportunity to understand where this hole is that others are hitting. And the hole in your personal boundaries is in the place where you have a psychological trauma, in the topic where a traumatic situation was experienced in the past. No wonder they say, thank your enemies, it is they who will show you the way to becoming a person in you. I would clarify, not only to the core of your personality, but also to strong personal boundaries.
Energy vampirism - myth or reality? What lies behind the concept of vampirism and how can it affect human health?
From point of view various directions This concept can be interpreted in different ways.
For example, in esoteric schools, this phenomenon is considered as pumping out positive energy from the human field and connecting to negative tendencies. And it can manifest itself in the form of the transmission of certain painful conditions, accumulated negativity and manifests itself in the form of holes or energy holes. In communication with such people, heaviness is felt, as if a person is unconsciously ready for an attack or does it during contact.
Access becomes possible and there is a return of positive vital energy. That is why a person who has been attacked may feel a breakdown and a state of apathy, as if his energy had been “pumped out”, his life had been “drank”. And a periodic meeting with such people leads to temporary impotence, and recovery takes time.
From the point of view of psychotherapy of such a concept in a particular this case no, however, there is a state of personality when it is not possible to cope with it alone and help is not requested.
Then a person, being in such a state, unconsciously looks for a victim, where there is a "drain" of aggression on the opponent.
The aggressor finds a way to displace the negative state at the expense of other people and gets relief from his state. Separation and fixation on whether “mine” or not “mine” allows you not to join such manifestations and helps to draw boundaries at the level of awareness.
All this makes it possible to prioritize and ask questions about what exactly a person who performs unconscious actions needs: “What hidden benefit is present and what needs to be brought to the level of awareness in this case?”
The essence of the manifestation of this kind of thing lies in the lack of help or support from the outside. In any case, the boundaries and distancing to the meta - position, allows you not to enter into resonance with the manipulator and keep your state at a certain level.
Inner awareness of what is happening now allows you to protect yourself from exposure. Aggression directed outward remains undisplaced and either a person finds what to do with it, or turns aggression inward, without harming others.
Be healthy and take care of each other.
Energy exchange between people is a complex and little-studied topic. Therefore, I will not risk composing here about three boxes about energy vampires, but simply talk about those sources of incomprehensible fatigue after communication that I know.
Fatigue is possible if you are "infected" with depression the person with whom they interacted. Emotional "infection" is a real phenomenon. It is possible if we are weakly aware of what is happening to us and tend to dissolve in the interlocutor. For example, the interlocutor complains about a life in which this is bad, and this, and in general everything around is a nightmare. You listen, empathize, emotionally engage in the story, forgetting about the possibility of critical perception. As a result, you may well leave the conversation tired, as if the troubles listed by the interlocutor fell on your own head.
We can get very tired if suppress our feelings. It takes a lot of energy not to feel or show, for example, anger. And as a result of a conversation in which we were angry at the interlocutor, but for various reasons we could not admit it to ourselves and to him, we can feel exhausted. The reasons for the suppression of feelings are most often unconscious internal prohibitions - on certain feelings in general (for example, “You can’t get angry”, “Fear is a sign of weakness, and it’s dangerous to be weak”), on emotional manifestations in specific situations (“Elders need to be respected”, “ Good women love children."
A particularly interesting source of fatigue for me is passive-aggressive behavior interlocutor. It is interesting in that such behavior is sometimes difficult to determine. But we get tired of interaction in this case colossally. For example, during a conversation, the interlocutor hears some of your phrases and reacts to them, but does not notice some. Or suddenly begins to smile absently, as if immersed in himself. Or, answering your question, he does it not directly and definitely, but as if answering some other question. There are many options for passive aggression, but they have the same essence - the interlocutor ignores and devalues part of your manifestations in the dialogue. And there seems to be nothing to be angry about - everything is fine, you are talking kindly. As a result, there is no place for anger - a natural reaction to devaluation. You find yourself forced to suppress it and get tired of talking.
And another source of fatigue - ambivalent behavior another person. Duality, as well as passive aggression, we also often do not realize. For example, you met a friend, and he, with a tense face, says how glad he is to see you - words convey one message, and facial expressions convey another. Your psyche, faced with conflicting information flows, turns off the processing of one of them. You perceive the acquaintance as happy to meet you, blocking the perception of his incomprehensible facial expression. It takes a lot of energy and as a result you feel tired.
There is only one way to protect yourself from fatigue in the situations described. If you feel discomfort in communication, take a pause for yourself and think about what is happening. If fatigue occurs with a loved one, then you can invite him to discuss what is happening. But in any case, it is up to you to choose: are you ready to pay the price in the form of fatigue for what you get in this interaction.
Does energy vampirism really exist? or..
This will depend primarily on what "world map" we will look at from. this problem... If you look at it from the world of esotericism, then they probably do exist ... But,!!! then, accordingly, the need to fight (or protect) from these "creatures" manifests itself.
If we begin to analyze this phenomenon in terms of psychological science, then the picture will change immediately.
From the point of view of the scientific paradigm, energy vampires simply do not exist.. And there are people with certain problems in building and implementing communications with other people. Who are these people? In my opinion, first of all, it is:
Manipulators who actively use all kinds of psychological games in communication;
People with overt and covert behavioral disorders caused by mental health problems;
as well as the so-called "toxic" people, "poisoning" the space around them with destructive negative attitudes.
The reasons for choosing such ineffective behavioral strategies are manifold and are related to:
Violation of trust and, accordingly, the boundaries of personal space (both one’s own and, accordingly, other people),
psychological immaturity,
The lack of flexibility, as an important factor in adapting to changing living conditions,
And also with the presence of subconscious destructive destructive tendencies.
There is, of course. Just do not complicate anything and mystify, I suppose. Let's see what we're dealing with when this happens:
"... after talking with a certain person, you feel tired and exhausted... this is repeated every time you meet..."
A person has 3 types of energy. The first, basic - physical. It comes to us with food, through passive rest/sleep, through breathing, water. This is obvious and understandable: if you haven’t eaten, you haven’t slept enough, there is little oxygen in the air, you don’t drink enough liquid, you will feel tired and exhausted. Therefore, before talking about vampires, try to check this level. Perhaps the desired "vampire" meets you just at the end of the working day. And a slight irritation (which can happen anywhere and with anyone) is enough for the interlocutor in this state of yours to begin to seem almost like Dracula.
The second type of energy is emotions. This is the most basic and even more powerful than the basic type of energy. Sometimes, within certain limits, emotions can even replace the basic source. Remember, being emotionally involved in something, you could forget about food. Or they did without sleep at night, when there was some kind of strong emotional intensity. Another thing is that it will not be possible to completely replace one with the other, but life, as a rule, does not please a person within the framework of the "basic set". Moreover, if a person has only energy basic level, then often it begins to slide into severe dissatisfaction, depression, and sometimes somatic diseases. And from these observations, we can draw a conclusion that is already obvious to many - a person needs emotions. This is his main energy - this is what drives him (the basis of motivation), this is what gives the colors of life, what tells him his own need, belonging, what a person needs to feel alive.
The third type of energy involves a level of development of the senses, which is not available to everyone. Let me just say that everyone has this type of energy, but if a person’s sense organs are not developed to a state beyond the usual, then most likely this level will not be noticeable to him and will not particularly affect his life in any way. And it has nothing to do with psychology either. It is enough that emotions affect all of us, and that is precisely what they most often serve as a pretext for the mystification of certain behavioral patterns.
Now imagine a portrait of a "vampire". Most often, he is an ordinary person who feels as usual, and does not own any complex energy techniques. And most often he does not want to "vampire" anyone, at least consciously. But the fact is that most of his needs are not realized. Or he has internal limitations that prevent him from getting what he wants in the world, whatever it is - approval, support, warmth, love. Most of those who fall under the label of "vampire" are usually not particularly gifted with love or support, and most often do not know how to build relationships with people in a way that is given voluntarily. It turns out that most often in the role of the so-called. "Vampires" are people who are dissatisfied with life, who themselves are poorly able to receive positive emotions (or forbid themselves to receive them due to restrictions imposed in childhood), and also most often these are people who find it difficult to build voluntary, open and free relationships with others .
And then everything is simple. If no one voluntarily gives a positive to a person, he needs at least something. At least some emotions, at least some reaction to yourself. There is no positive - negative will do. To provoke a person to irritation, scandal, regret, any other not very positive feelings is sometimes a matter of a few words. And the so-called "vampires" do it pretty quickly. Why? - well, since they have not learned to build open relationships with people, have not learned to ask in a good way, to exchange emotions openly, then it turns out that they lived and got used to living in such an environment where they achieved everything by manipulation, intimidation, mutual insults, provocations and guilt. It is these practices that such a "vampire" adopts. And if you think about it, due to his upbringing and his own limitations, he simply had no other choice. And since it works, the "vampire" sees no point in abandoning his tactic of extracting emotions. And here the principle of the "comfort zone" works - maybe the word "comfort" is not fully applicable to this, but such a person knows: manipulation, attempts to hurt the sick, anti-compliments, an attempt to introduce their own limitations into others - all this works. Yes, it does not bring love, but it brings at least some emotions.
And change is scary. Because, as you know, the old way works, is more or less predictable, and therefore seems safe. And the new one - it can be more effective, but after all, the "vampire" lives initially in an unsafe world, in which they played with him according to very strict rules, according to the rules of intimidation and manipulation, and therefore it is very difficult for him to change, because it is very unsafe according to his concepts .....
All this explanation is most often not realized by the "vampire" himself. He often thinks "they're luckier than me" or uses defenses like "he must be worse off than me" to avoid admitting his dissatisfaction. By evoking negative emotions in others and driving them to exhaustion, he realizes his desire for power, but he calls it all in terms of “I brought them to light”, although in reality the person only found confirmation of his own pessimistic worldview.
To protect yourself from this, you need only 2 things:
1. Realize that a person (that very "vampire"), due to the shortcomings of his upbringing and the impossibility of active personal development, uses very archaic methods of protection and poorly conscious, manipulative methods of interaction. And mysticism has nothing to do with it.
2. Decide what to do about it. I would not like to write a separate story about the protection of borders and the fight against manipulation. But in any case, whoever your "vampire" is, his actions are quite understandable. And you have the right to choose whether to continue interacting with him or not, and if, for some reason of your own, you choose to communicate for now, then you still have a choice - to give energy, emotions (i.e., whether to respond to manipulations, whether to flare up on provocation, to prove something) or not. And, believe me, there is no such force in the universe that could oblige you to give your emotions to someone to whom you do not want to give them anymore. You can do this only at your own choice. Which makes sense in such cases to do extremely consciously and with love for yourself in the first place.
Exist. "Energy vampirism" is a definition given to one of the manifestations of human relationships. Such relationships can be observed visually in the global network. "Trolling" in the social web is one of the forms of such manifestations.
In fact, each of us is an "energy vampire" (in a figurative sense), since each person needs to feel his significance in society, just as each of us is an "energy donor" (showing care, expressing support for other people and etc.).
How not to become a victim? Constant development in the spiritual, intellectual, physical plane.
It depends on what we put into the concept of an energy vampire - if we follow a direct interpretation, then we mean that a certain person is able to take our energy, after which we feel broken, irritated, tired and devastated. If we accept this, then we agree to the interference of others in our lives and our inability to resist outside influences.
But why does it turn out that after communicating with some people we feel a surge of strength and joy, and when we see or communicate with others, we rush to finish the conversation as soon as possible?
Indeed, it is not necessary to deny the existence of a certain quality of energy in humans. But energy different people have different strength and directionality pole - positive or negative. Positive energy is inherent in people who are harmonious, optimistic and who have a balance of will and feelings. Negative energy is inherent in people who are disharmonic inside, dissatisfied with life, pessimistic, prone to destruction and aggression - overt or covert. Such people are unable to know themselves, their feelings are mostly blocked and thus prevent them from enjoying life, natural joy, the energy of life. Such people are unable to perceive these positive, healing energies. because they are at a different "frequency" of energy radiation. But since any creature needs to replenish energy, energy "vampires" tend to eat negative emotions other people, for which they provoke a surge of these very emotions in a potential "victim". It can be unconscious manipulation, the imposition of guilt, a provocation for tears, a quarrel, a scandal - after achieving what they want, they calm down, as they saturate their energy needs. There are also passive "vampires" who tend to shift onto other people part of the burden of their failures, disharmonious attitude to life, harass others with constant complaints about life, and so on. However, if a person does not support their moaning and maintain an internal balance, then everything will be in order. Thus, the best defense against "vampirism" and provocations is to strengthen your nervous system, achieve internal balance, a stable worldview. This can help with regular physical exercise, meditation, yoga, qigong or other areas of spiritual and physical improvement. Since it is no coincidence that certain people meet in our lives, and if you have attracted a "vampire" into the orbit of your communication, then you should think about why this is happening to you and why do you need it? It is possible that it is precisely in order to become more stable and positively minded. And learn to control and most importantly, be aware of your emotions.